how can i escape a broken heart everyday?

which will hurt the most? to be told of the wrong year of school graduation; to be informed of the wrong break up time frame; to  hear places he claimed he had gone to;  to expect gifts he said he bought you; to discover an appointment that was never made; to be told what was given was a real diamond ring; to be told the wrong birth year after several years? ALL BECAUSE HE SAID HE FORGOT. or it doesn’t really matter what…? but the whole point of being lied to by the person you were totally honest with, whom you shared years of your life, your family’s and friends’.
how can i escape a broken heart everyday? 

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Life of the ‘Kabayan’

To seek for better opportunities. The very reason why most, if not each, Filipinos test the waters of land and sea far away from home.

To many others who are not overseas Filipino workers or OFWs, as we call them, or those who don’t have a family or friend like them or those who don’t have a better understanding, these Kabayans mean free flowing cash, latest gadgets, imported chocolates and foods, branded clothes and shoes, etc. You name it and they got it. If they don’t, well, they’re selfish, proud, no good son, daughter, sister, brother, relative or friend. 

Not everyone knows the reason or reasons why they left the country except for wanting a greener pasteur. Not everyone knows the difficulties they went through in applying from agency to agency in and out of their hometowns praying their application requirements be complete and accepted as they may have traveled far and was almost lost or was lost with nobody to accompany them. Some might be fearful of not reaching their target destination of agency buildings that are not too accessible for safe public transportation or in  which building or agency names are too tiny and old to read and decipher and finally be back home with the confort of familiar faces and places. Not everyone knows how they wished these agencies are registered and legit and will not run away with their hard earned savings money or to some, loaned money from high interest rates lenders or lending agencies or money from selling or pawned lands, farm animals, or family members or relatives.

Surely, they had a choice, all of us have, but they chose to  sail the waves in the HOPES of a better life, career, and pay.

Not everyone knows it wasn’t easy. Who would want to work on a foreign country far away from where you grew up with family and friends who loves and cares for you. Who would want to work in a culture either there is equality or not in citizenship, religion, education or gender but existing discrimination and bullying prevails. And despite these difficulties affecting them emotionally, spiritually, physically, or financially, THEY ALL CONTINUE TO DO THEIR JOBS. That’s how FILIPINOS are, SURVIVORS.

I hope some people back home would understand the sentiments of KABAYANS and not see them as a mere instrument to gain bigger income from by overcharging in daily and usual services, expecting more than the regular payment, and implementing more taxes of what was bought from hard earned money or to some from what was asked, given, or picked up from streets. They too are humans, if they earned more than you do (surely, the work was more harder than you do),  they deserve it and more because unlike the rest in the country, THEY ARE AWAY FROM HOME.

The Science of Reading

IT PAYS TO READ. I was not always a fan of pocketbooks, newspapers, much more textbooks. But my aunt used to write in her letters, READ THESE…

In my gradeschool days, I bought a short story book but I never finished reading it. Some words are difficult for me to understand. I tried reading a dictionary hoping it would expand my vocabulary, so would my aunt say, but i can’t finish reading one page. My eyes would be heavy from looking at the words that seemed so small and reading out loud won’t help. I don’t even know the correct pronunciation of these words much more memorize its meaning and spelling so I just simply STOPPED.

Each year, she would bring home pocketbooks of all sorts from romance to science fiction and of course, the popular, Reader’s Digest magazines. It’s cheap in the States, she adds. And I remember in her letters she would always insert newspaper clippings of what she read like about health updates. I find it weird in a way instead of inserting cash for example or pictures, we would find those. I don’t read them although I was told by my mother and sister what it was all about.

I’d rather play with my treasured toys or watch my favorite t.v. channels. Why read when I can see people and places on tv with colors and sounds? Why use my imagination reading fictional books or educational books when I can do other things? Well, if it was a comic magazine or showbiz magazine, definitely I have time, stories are short and simple and with lots of pictures.

But times have changed. If only I had trained myself reading books, I would have learned how to read fast and probably have a better understanding. It could have been beneficial in my college days when we were asked to read chapters and chapters from textbooks in an hour or two. It could have been an advantage if I were to take an English Proficiency Test as it has a reading section.

Nevertheless, I have embraced the science of reading when I was working. Just to pass time, I thought. Eventually, with the first novel that I have read and finished reading willingly, Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress, I fell in love with reading itself. I won’t buy books as it’s impractical for me and I won’t read the same book twice, so my friends would lend me theirs. And this was the start of my reading escapades. As long as I don’t have work, I read and read.

And so, I encourage you as well, reading won’t just bring you in another world of love, thrill or grief as it keeps your emotions checked but it will open doors and windows of wisdom and information. READ VARIETIES OF READING MATERIALS, whatever is convenient and accessible to you. READ FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES, published or researched, posted, etc.By whatever means, open yours eyes and read. There are a lot to read everywhere. Don’t be a victim of ignorance as IT ALWAYS PAY TO READ.

my writing dilemma

In my mind, I always wanted to be a writer, I can be a writer but… there is always a BUT. But was I good enough? I have talented writer classmates but how do they do it? How can I do it? What will I write about? Who will read it?

I was in my first year in high school when my English teacher, and I remember him vividly when he told me I should join the school paper training. Days and weeks had passed even if I wanted to I wasn’t able to. To train means it was costly and it was not in school and I have to go home probably late. So what did i do about it? i continued with my usual routine, write diaries or journals every now and then as part of the course requirement. I remembered in my elementary days even if I was on summer breaks I used to write on my diary daily. I write not just about things that happened with me and with whom that day but I get to write my feelings and emotions so they called it through poems, short poems to be exact. I think I had a diary book a food cart owner gave me. I liked that diary book, it had a lot of blank pages and seemed to be posh for a simple girl like me. It was like a pocket book. Also, I did all the stuffs that a student was required to write since grade one to college: home reading journals, I don’t have a clue what I’m reading about; essay, we were taught parts of the paragraph; critic and reaction papers, we were given guide questions or topics to go through it; and the list goes on. My poems? A few got published. Well my best friend was an editor in chief in high school, she asked me and I delivered and it ended there and so I thought. Do you remember the time when Facebook wasn’t still around and Friendster was still in. Yes` my friends, FRIENDSTER. I used to write my short poems in there until it was gone.

And yet, here I am again. Still restless at some nights until my thoughts become words and my words become readable for anyone. My writing dilemma doesn’t end here it’s just beginning. And so my fellow aspiring writers who wants to be heard, now is the time. It’s never too late.